Dark Kitchens

Dark Kitchens

The Beverage Standards Association brings you Peter’s Monday 13th December 2021 Weekly Briefing every Tuesday morning.

Monday, 13th December 2021 Weekly Report
Dark Kitchens

What to call them? Dark kitchens I mean. The problem with the term Dark Kitchens is, so I’m told, that it makes them sound subterranean and uninviting. Some people prefer Ghost Kitchens but that implies they don’t actually exist – when they clearly do. Others want to call them Cloud Kitchens as if they exist somewhere but we don’t know where (– when clearly they exist within a mile of wherever we’re ordering our food. Then there are Shadow Kitchens (what do they shadow?) and Delivery Kitchens which, to my mind, is sort of accurate but definitely prosaic. I’m going to argue for Dark Kitchens.

Where does the Dark come through?

Where does the “Dark” come from? It’s obviously not the absence of light – just try cooking in the dark. In practice, I suspect that Dark Matter may have something to do with it. After all, the scientists tell us that Dark Matter is suitably mysterious even though there are certainly things that are known about.

In essence

For a start it keeps everything (in the universe) in its place – just like a well ordered kitchen. There is hot dark matter, warm dark matter and cold dark matter – the soup is piping hot, madam; your ice cream is suitably cold; everything is delivered to you at just the right temperature. Scientists observe Dark Matter via Galaxy Clusters – seems like a great chocolate dessert. It’s also observed in Cosmic Microwaves – apparently, even kitchen equipment manufacturers are getting in on it. A piece of evidence for the existence of dark matter is via Velocity Dispersions – sounds like a really cool way to whip up some mayonnaise. And then there’s Structure Formation which, I suspect, Heston Blumenthal has had a hand in.

Thank you for reading part of the Monday 13th December 2021 Weekly Briefing. A full edition can be found here.

Peters Monthly Report for November 2021 is now available here.

Peters Quarterly Report for July to September 2021 is available here.

Peter provides consultancy on the eating out market and opens eyes to brand new ways of thinking about the sector and its multiple opportunities for success.

(E) peter@peterbackmanfs.com (w) www.peterbackmanfs.com